dommekittywa

been ages since i did an entry in here. well, alot has happened. lost my job 2 weeks ago. it was an evil place. but it paid the bills, just. so now i am job hunting. only good thing is the new laptop. which means i go out and about to places like panera and the library to abuse... erm use their high speed access as i only have dialup. but i am survivng.


on other news I WANT SPRING!!!!!! or at least warm weather. i havent had a spring this cold since living in glasgow. hopefully we will get nice decent temps soon and no more freakin rain. ok ok so maybe a little rain.

anyway better get my ass movin and get things done.

Lets101 - Online Free Dating

Someone whom i have mentioned before in here talking only about fetish wear to me and irritating me, showed a different side of himself a week ago. and at that point i was going to write who he was different rl vs ol. how sweet he was and how much fun he was an how he can get away from bdsm/fetish wear and connect with me on a different level, until last night. I got up at 5:30, so i could take a bus into seattle to be at the borders book store to get a copy of the new Harry Potter book. then spent the rest of the day wandering around seattle, including the tourist infested Pike Place Market. came on line last night after i got home at 8:30 he got on from where he is on a biz trip and proceeded to nibble on me to get me in the mood to play. I told him i was tired after my long day downtown and that still didnt stop him. he still pressed on trying to nibble on me. i was getting sooo livid. i mean that shows that he was only thinking of one thing ... himself. if he is trying to make an impression, it certainly was the wrong one and makes me less likely to do anything rl with him ever.

and what is bad, he has only through prodding asked me about myself, its like he doesnt want to know anything personal about me. that all he sees me as is someone to Dom him and thats it. and thats not what i am looking for in a sub or a person in my life.

invaded downtown Edmonds today. had lunch at the local bakery - nothing exciting - just a bowl of soup and a roll. then tootled about and looked at some of the shops then stopped for a drink and snack at the starbucks then went to finally see Pirates of the caribbean 3. and sitting in the semi-dark theater before the movie the only thing i could think of is that i was the only one there alone, and by along i mean single... alone... with no one. which got me to thinking that here i am going to be 40 in 3 days and i have no one in my life in those terms, at least not in terms of face to face. the guy i have in my life is married and he cant be there in terms i that i want and need. he is very sweet, and i care for him dearly, but i need more. but even when i do get more it always seems to go kablooey in my face.

So i have given up on it, yet i still want it. the guys that are interested me on this one place i go only seem to want me to get their rocks off. i mean all this one guy talks to me about is his latex fetish. and i know he doesnt want more with me because i have invited him to go meet for coffee and go for a walk on the beach in edmonds, but he hasnt or wont take me up on it. another is married. he is sweet and funny and everything i could ever want, but married and that is something that will never change. the other only wants me to get his rocks off as well. he knows that i know excatly how to get to him with his kink. and so he tries to goad me into that. lately i have refused so he has looked elsewhere.

I just fucking well want a healthy relationship( with kinks included). why cant i find one. is it soo impossible for anyone to want me in those terms.
so on and on i go... forever alone.

things are a jumble, confusing, a mess. just not sure where to start or what all should go in here. mainly because i am not sure what the other party wants made public. or of he even gives a fig. Did i say things were a cunfuzzled jumble? maybe more when my thoughts are coherent and a bit more clear on where things stand. on where i stand.

The Sonnet Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf) Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed? Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance. Your exact opposite: Genghis Khunt Random Brutal Sex Master Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so. You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls. ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth CONSIDER: The Loverboy Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: mskitty67

Well, its been a stressful, evil, nasty week. work has been most of the problem. at work, thanks to the corporate office we have to tally everything we do, ever letter we note, every thing we work on. i never realised that on average i handle about 350 calls a day. on top of the other work i do at work. its not the phone calls, but having to tally them, by client or catagory. I dont care how many of x,y, or z client i get and transfer. it hasnt just stressed me out but it has stressed everyone out in the department. If this goes on i suspect we might mutiny.
On top of all this stress, or because of it all, I got a cold that is now sitting on my chest. friday it was a cough and a rattle in my chest, saturday it was that times 3 plus a killer headache and today it has dulled down. hopefully tomorrow it will be even less. and i finally got meds to help lessen it the chest congestion and the cough.



maybe this week will be better

Your Spicy Score: Medium

You are hot enough to make a lasting impression, but you strike a balance. You know when you're being too fiery, and you also know when to bump up the temperature. Naughty and clever. Sexy yet down to earth. You know how to work both sides of your personality. Men find you hot yet approachable - the perfect combination!

My boy was on, as he is mon-fri. but tonight he is pulling the same crap he always pulls. tonight got in the main talker room, no less, "Finn says: sorry. got involved in TV." What the FUCK!! why does he bother logging in when he is going to sit there and watch tv/log into work/ read his emails instead. Its the main reason I haven't bothered playing with him in months. I am always waiting for him to respond as he is busy elsewhere. So I don't even bother, it's certainly isn't a motivating factor having to wait minutes for a response. he needs his ass whooped, but i doubt it would change anything

Well, ok not so much the great out doors as in downtown seattle at the new outdoor sculpture garden set up by the seattle art museum. The weather was perfect for it it was about 50 and sunny.

Even though they have some major work to do on the site, it is still spectacular. the site is on a 2.5 x 1.5 city block range and they made use of that space in a phenomenal way. it is multilevel with paths weaving in and around the space to take you to one of 4 buildings on the sight or the sculptures. They have an Alexander Calder - The Eagle. Its a large red piece you cant miss. the also have one long piece that is along a bridge over some railroad tracks. up close it looks like someone took inspiration from an oil slick - that iridescent sheen across a blue background, yet from across the park with the sun behind it it looks like a stained glass window. the path then winds down ot the street, curves back on its self on a descending slop to more parts of the park and to the water front.

there was a very funny sculpture i saw. remember those eraser wheels for typewriters with the stiff brush at one end to get rid of the bits of eraser left on the paper. it looked like that, only the part past the eraser was formed of cords and falling apart.


all in all it was a good day.

Why do I bother with relationships. Every time I think I am gaining some ground on getting to know someone, they turn around and I get smacked in the face by them hooking up with someone else. And I end up feeling like a complete and utter fool. It's F'd up! I have come to think that relationships and me don't mix. My last sub dumped me shortly after he moved back to sweden. Said he wanted to be friends, yet when I inquired as to how he was a few months after, he completely ignored me.

This current thing was with a switch, made a damn fool of myself messing around with him one night after flirting with him over a few month period. Then I get a message that he collared someone a few days ago so he cant flirt with me. While I respect that he has integrity to not flirt around on his sub, it would have been nice to know that I didn't even have a snowballs chance in hell to begin with. I F'ing well give up I am not even sure they are worth it. So for now it will be just me and my cats. At least cats don't break your heart.

IT was a nasty day at work. Well, most of it was ok, just one part of it, one evil, evil, nasty, rude ass of a debtor came into the office to get a paid in full letter. Granted i could have handled part of my side of the conversation better. but i mean berating me for the fax machine being busy so the fax from our az office to get him the letter goes beyond the pail. The fax is on the second floor of the building in an office on the other side of the building, WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO ABOUT IT. plus he wanted a supervisor as it was taking too long and becuase i was doing my job and answering the phones I was being rude to him. ya know some people should just pull heir heads out of their asses and realise that they arent the only ones on the planet. besides had he paid his bill on time he wouldnt have been in our office to begin with.

the screwed up thing is after all the berating and rudeness he decided to leave in a huff and as soon as he did that the supervisor brought the fax down. serves the jackass right for being so impatient. he left with no paid in full letter and the account was noted about how rude he was.

maybe tomorrow will be a better day.


I can hope cant i :)